Ready For Divorce? Or Not Really Ready?
Sometimes, it’s most helpful to isolate the problem and circle it with various questions, especially if these problems are of extreme importance, such as are you ready for divorce? These questions would, of course, need answers.
In that way, you could simply better understand the issues and see possible solutions to those issues that could arise by answering those questions.
To be concise, it’s a Q and A game; but a rather serious game if it is to consider the divorce process and the consequences of the separation for you and the kids (if you’ve got kids, naturally) and your husband or partner.
In this way, I have collected several pertinent questions from a well-established online magazine (you can find the article here). And then, I have tried to write my own answers without lots of thinking, re-thinking, and refurbishing.
And all that has been done IGNORING the answers offered by the source.
That’s the surest way to get the facts and the truth out of these facts, in my humble opinion.
What Is The Main Reason for Your Divorce?
Most often, the cause of separation arises because of some relationship issues or unresolved conflicts, although you did your best. For instance, there is a problem in regards to finances. It would be best if you thought about the primary reason(s) you are divorcing.
Have You Done Everything in Your Power to Save Your Marriage?
Did You Seek Mediation or Counselling?
There has been considerable debate as to whether couples should stay in bad marriages or leave them. In part, this debate is about the stability and long-term interest of the marital relationship.
In part, this debate is about how people should manage their emotions when things aren’t going well.
Besides, it is about whether people can fix their marriage independently or if they need outside help.
Do You Still Have Feelings for Your Partner?
The fact of the matter, of course, is that most couples get divorced. I know because I have been through it. Most marriages have issues.
In both cases, the couple has left the marriage with unresolved issues, and it is the couple who then has the problem for which they find each other’s fault. In a way, there is no sense in having feelings for your partner.
It will not help and may cause problems.
How Will You Handle All The Unpleasant Consequences Of Divorce?
If your marriage is over, then you face a world of separation and divorce. This period is a trial and error time and one big mess that cannot be reversed.
In this decisive phase of your life, you are likely to experience grief, loss, depression, anger, and resentment.
It can be hard to accept that things will be different, that things will stop being the way they were.
There will be new boundaries, expectations, and changes that can be difficult to live with.
Will You Adapt to The New Environment With Your Children?
As you begin to go through the divorce and custody process, it is wise to consider the new environment and children with open-mindedness.
You and the children should feel the stress on any child involved and make an effort to accommodate for it.
You also should consider the possible effects it may be having on the child and assess their reaction accordingly.
There are some things you can do to help adapt the children to this new situation.
If you already have children, you can help your children cope better by being aware of what you can say to them to help them manage. The children will have a little more patience, and some will adjust more easily when you help them cope. Don’t forget about the possible complications arising when child support is involved.
How to Get It With Your Ex
This is quite an interesting article on Medium. As a matter of fact, pretty frequently, I’ve found articles well researched and thought on that platform; there, I can wholeheartedly advise you to have a thorough and frequent look.
“Perhaps you’ve been on a few casual dates here and there, or maybe even fooled around a little and had your first one-night stand in years. You’ve come off that high of being physically desired again, and you’re starting to enjoy the single life, but then the moment comes when you find someone you want to get serious with, and to your surprise, they want to get serious with you, too.”
But… How about the children?
So it goes, and the cycle is set to repeat itself every time you two decide to get it on.
But you know what?
You don’t have to get your heart broken every time the moment comes, and you don’t have to get your kids’ souls torn apart (in case, of course, you have got your own kids), either.
It can be so much more, and there are so many times where you can make it happen with a simple click of a button.
4 Signs That You Are Ready For Divorce
In fact, I know that there are times where you feel like you don’t have another second to lose. Then again, it takes only one click and a simple message for you to have a little more time with your ex.
Maybe you can get your kids a treat. Perhaps you can surprise them with some free time.
Perhaps you can even find a way to give something back to the relationship that used to be in your life before it was taken away.
But how exactly do you pull this off? The good news is, it is not too difficult to accomplish.
You do not have to take on too much; you do not have to find a way to keep their secrets.
You do not even have to do anything that would require their cooperation.
It is enough if they click a link, and they get the gift of time with your ex.
In fact, all you have to do is let them know about the free time, and leave it at that.
The trick is to make sure that they know that this is something you want, and you will get it. You may have to be a little persistent sometimes, but this is how you have to go to get the free time with your ex.
You have to go about convincing them, with just the right gifts. This is going to get them to click the link.
The ready for divorce checklist
The trick is that you do not have to bring intimacy into the message. It is possible to have a simple statement that says, “I need some time alone, and what better way to spend it than with you? Would you be willing to spare a little time this weekend?”
It is just that simple. It does not have to be much. Just let them know that you want some time for yourself and that you will need some alone time.
And you will have an hour, an hour and a half just for you. It does not have to be much, just some time.
Now you may be saying, “This is impossible, I am working half the week, and I don’t have any free time.”
It is. There is no such thing (I would recommend reading another post of mine about who gets the house after a divorce).
If you are willing and able to commit yourself and let it happen, you can have some time. Just do not let it be more than an hour or so.
But you have to be willing in advance.
You cannot just throw your work schedule out the window to do this.
It would be best if you were clear in your mind that you will be around for the children.
Why Do You Think I Am the Reason for Your Divorce?
Perhaps you’ve been on a few casual dates here and there, or maybe even fooled around a little and had your first one-night stand in years.
You’ve come off that high of being physically desired again, and you’re starting to enjoy the single life, but then the moment comes when you find someone you want to get serious with, and to your surprise, they want to get serious with you, too.
Maybe this is the first time this has happened in your life, the first time someone else is interested in you in the same way you are interested in them.
You start to wonder who is in charge, and the question pops up as to who is actually the one with more worth, if not both of you.
This feeling of being overwhelmed can be the catalyst for the start of a serious relationship.
This relationship is going to last a lifetime but will come at a price.
If you really want to know how to save your marriage from divorce, then you’ve got to understand the root cause of the fire of infatuation.
Let me first tell you that it is not your fault that your relationship is on the verge of ending.
Suppose you are willing to do the work of making the most of your single life and making your relationship last a lifetime.
In that case, the blame will be taken off of you, and you have a better chance of saving your relationship than others who want to avoid being alone.
You have a choice of which path to take.
You can get overwhelmed by the thought of how you could potentially change your life’s trajectory, or you can let go of the blame (for another post of mine about the first steps to divorce, please click the link).
The blame has many, many layers; for example, it includes being upset at your spouse or partner, being upset at yourself, and it includes thinking you have a lack of worth.
You can let go of the blame.
You can make the most of your single life.
If you genuinely love your spouse (or partner), but you don’t want to end up living like a hermit crab, then you will have to work on your relationships with him (or her).
This will include taking care of the little details, like cleaning the home and doing small but vital things to make the relationship last a lifetime.
When you have taken the blame, you will have a better chance of solving the relationship problem. You have a better chance of saving your relationship than the ones who look for ways to avoid being alone.
Take a look at the problem of your relationship. Is it just a lack of mutual respect, a lack of understanding of each other, and a lack of common interests?
Then there is not much work you need to do. You can make the most of your single life, and you will enjoy every moment more than you ever have.
In this case, you might decide that the best way to save your marriage is to ask your spouse (or partner) to give it another try.
Ask him or her to give it another try, but this time you will attempt to communicate more and make an effort to solve issues. You can make the most of your single life, and you will be a happier person.
When is divorce the right answer? And then?
You can end up doing the opposite of what you thought for you to end up getting rid of the blame and move forward in your complicated relationship.
Your spouse (or partner) is either so full of jealousy and hurt, and resentment that it makes you want to throw up, or he or she is full of joy and exuberance and can see the light.
This is not the case. By the way, I would invite you to read another article of mine, about moving on after divorce.
I believe it would be beneficial to check if you are ready for divorce if you’ve got a checklist for the day after.
It is solely that you are more likely to solve the problems that lead to the breakup.
If you are, you will find that it is more rewarding, and you might find that the separation seemingly is supposed to lead to an end of your pain and depression.
Suppose you are in a relationship, and the relationship turns into a divorce. In that case, you can try to make the relationship better and improve upon things, but you have to be willing to work on it and not blame others, and you have to accept that it takes a change in your relationship so that you can solve the problems.
If you are a divorcee, you have to accept that it is just the natural consequences of what you did and that you need to get on with it to stop regret, pain, and loneliness.
I hope this was a fruitful reading and that this post was beneficial to you.
Sometimes it could be pretty hard to talk about such sensitive and/or uncertain matters: are you ready for divorce?
P.S. All photos in this blog post have been chosen from the DigiProduct Collection entitled Groups and Couples.
I have bought the copyright of this marvelous, enticing, unique collection, and I can use any photo in my work, with or without any alterations.
I sincerely hope that the images I have chosen will suit this article’s content, trying to help you see if you are ready for divorce (or separation).